Let's start out with a speech from the movie Coach Carter, because it describes what you're about to read about perfectly. (Thanks to Jake Viola for showing me this)
Being under-employed I have lots of free time during the week to do pretty much whatever I please and lately that has been some soul searching and reflection. Of course not all my time is spent doing that and I've been watching an inordinate amount of sports, usually spending my mornings watching Skip Bayless argue with a host of other national pundits about any number of topics. They were debating a topic earlier this week about Lebron James not wanting the ball in the final few minutes of a game. Other than the fact that the topic has been beaten to death, it's also one that I thought I had a solid opinion on. Lebron doesn't want the ball at the end of the game because he fears failing and isn't confident enough in himself to get the job done.
I've changed my mind though...
I've always thought that my biggest fear in life was failure. It's the answer that I always give when people ask me what I'm afraid of most. But over the last couple of weeks I've slowly come to the conclusion that this is simply incorrect. I thrive on failure. Failure has built a chip on my shoulder that motivates me every day to be better than the day before. Failure is the reason that I bust my ass at the gym 7 days a week and the reason that I am motivated be a better teacher. So then that begs the question, what do I really fear? It took me a few days to figure it out, but what I fear most in the world is success. It sounds completely backward but as I began looking back at events in my life it bore itself out. Whether it was sports, school, girls, teaching, wrestling school, or anything else, I've always feared being as successful as I could have and should have been. I was always content to fail and let that chip on my shoulder grow.
So why is this important to Lebron James? I've been thinking about it and he has the same problem. He fears success. Don't get me wrong, the guy is incredibly successful as a basketball player. He's a multiple time MVP and the best player in the league, but he has failed again and again in crunch time of big games. When you get to a certain level in sports you can no longer be measured by individual achievements but instead must be measured by championships. The greatest of all time, Michael Jordan, feared failure and would work himself tirelessly to ensure that he NEVER failed. He wanted to be the greatest to ever play the game and wanted the big shot every time. I can imagine a Heat huddle now that has Lebron asking Dwyane Wade if he wants to take the game winning shot, and that's the problem. Can anyone imagine Jordan or Larry Bird offering to pass up the game winning shot to run a play for a teammate.....no you can't. I imagine one of those Bulls huddles went something like this: Coach: "OK here's the play...." Jordan: "Just give me the ball and get the F*** out of my way".
Does it make Lebron a bad guy that he doesn't want to take that shot? I don't think so. I think Lebron, like myself, loves to be loved......by EVERYONE. There is no way to insure unanimous popularity but there's a difference between wanting to be liked by everyone and being comfortable playing the villain role. I've ripped on Lebron a lot for making the decision to leave Cleveland by way of a live television special, and I still can't defend it but I understand why he did it. If I was going to upset a lot of people with one decision I would definitely want to do something to try and soften the blow. Knowing that, I can see why he made the decision to hold a live "Decision" special with the proceeds going to the Cleveland boys and girls clubs. I can understand his thinking that maybe Cleveland wouldn't hate him as much if he did this one act of charity on his way out. I'm not sure I wouldn't have made the same decision or at least allowed myself to be talked into it being a good idea.
Going back to looking at decisions that I've made, it's easy to see that I hate upsetting people or giving bad news of any kind. Sports, especially basketball, is an area where it's pretty easy for me to pick apart where I did things just to keep everyone happy. I rarely looked for my own offense. Everyone loves to shoot and when you're taking their shots away they get upset, especially if you're missing. So rather than look to shoot the ball, I decided to focus on passing and rebounding, though it mostly amounted to bench warming. I've had coaches literally yell at me to shoot the ball, but I never wanted to rock the boat. I was afraid of success, not that I was a fantastic player, however I will forever believe that I had more to offer. The one year that I did look for my own offense was a year I spent playing rec ball. It was the only time in my entire basketball career, 8 years, where I believed that I had to score for the team to win and that I was our best option.
Doesn't that sound like Lebron? When he was on the Cavs he took a team with no other all stars to the NBA Finals. Really the only year where he BELIEVED he was the best player and should be taking the shots at the end of games. He had the 48 Special against Detroit in the conference finals because there was nothing to lose, he was the only hope for the Cavs. When the Cavs started putting better pieces around Lebron he started to lose that swagger. He was still clearly the best player on the team but with Antawn Jamison and Shaq he now had guys who were older and had been all stars before. If you don't think Lebron started having doubts about whether he should be taking the crunch time shots or whether he should be feeding Shaq then I don't think you've been paying attention. Fast forward to when he went to Miami and he's feeling the pressure even more. He has no idea whether he should be deferring to Wade/Bosh or whether he should be taking over. To say that Michael Jordan would have gone to any team in the league during the 90's and deferred to ANYONE wouldn't just be asinine, it would be asiten, asieleven, asitwelve. Michael never feared success with any team, no matter whose toes he was stepping on. Lebron is too sensitive of a guy to step on other people to get to the top. And I totally get it.
So why, after 9 years in the league, hasn't Lebron listened to the media and just started taking the crunch time shots to shut everyone up. To be honest, if he just started taking the shots most of the hate would subside. Even Jordan missed more game winners than he made. The reason is the same reason that I still suck at dating. It's another quality that we share, not stubborness but an increased level of cautiousness and an inability to live in the moment. I believe that Lebron passes up the crunch time shots, not because he's not confident he can make them, but because he fears what will happen if he starts making them. If he starts making them, then expectations rise that he'll make them every time. That's a good thing, unless you're the type of person that hates to let people down....which is exactly what Lebron is. So rather than take that last shot, he'll gladly pass it off to Wade, Bosh, or even Udonis Haslem. In my situation I've never had an entire television show dedicated to breaking down my dating woes, but I do have some close friends that do their best Skip Bayless impression whenever we start talking about it. And what compares to a last second shot better than that awkward moment when you're dropping someone off? Much like Lebron my body language is terrible and my mind ends up in a million different places. It's not that I wasn't interested in the person I went out with, in fact I've never gone out with someone I DIDN'T like. It boils down to the same issue of wanting everyone to like you. If you never take a chance than the worst case scenario is that you'll end up as friends.....again fearing success and settling for someone simply "liking you" when it probably should've been more. Although it is more failure to add to that ever-growing chip on the shoulder. So Lebron and I both ignore what is usually GREAT advice because both of us fear the success and expectations that might come with it. Instead of living in the moment, we're both thinking 15 moments ahead to what might go wrong in the future.
Another thing that I've ripped Lebron for is joining up with Wade and Bosh in Miami instead of staying in Cleveland and trying to get the Cavs a title. After thinking about it some more though would I have been able to resist the urge to do the same if I was in his position? If I was a free agent and had the option of going to Miami to play basketball with two of my best friends, would I say no? I honestly can't tell you what I would do but I do know it wouldn't be an easy decision. Perhaps the most well liked athlete in the world, Tim Tebow, recently picked the New York Jets over his hometown Jacksonville Jaguars yet no one had a problem with it. Sort of the same reason that I haven't started full time at wrestling school. Go do something that has a high probability of failure or spend the time with my friends? Again fearing that I might be successful in something that would leave a mark. Lebron winning a title in Cleveland would have definitely left a mark, much bigger than winning any number of titles in Miami.
Someday I like to think something like this will happen and we'll get a whole new Lebron. (Figuratively of course, although if he really freaks out like this on the court I'd be a fan for life.)
I'll never be a fan of Lebron. You'll never see me wearing a James jersey. He's had too much of a rivalry with my beloved Celtics for that, but my opinion on the man has changed. I understand Lebron and I don't hate him.
I'd like to end this with something for everyone to chew on for a while. If Lebron James was given the choice to have the career he's had or the career of Robert Horry which do you think he'd pick? The choice boils down to himself (obscenely rich, future hall of famer, 2 time MVP, picked apart and bashed every day by everyone in the media) or Horry ("Regular rich, solid role player, 7 championships, nicknamed Big Shot, never talked about unless he does something well). I know which one I'd pick and I think if Lebron was really honest with himself he'd pick the same.
Ok Lebron your session with Josh Viola professional chemistry teacher and amateur psychiatrist is over, I expect my check is in the mail.
Thanks for reading, leave a comment, become a fan of the blog, go back and read all my other blogs, and follow me on twitter @joshviola19. I promise I'll never compare myself to an NBA player again....maybe.
-Josh
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